How to Reconcile a Shopaholic and a Cheapskate (With great difficulty)
It's the GREAT SINGAPORE SALE!
(Ok fine it's been on for a while)
A month meant for rampant shopping and maxed out credit cards.
And what does this also mean?
More opportunities for me to get ripped off! Because as friends will know, I have earned notoriety for attracting rip-offs and ripper-offers. And a whole lot of other weird experiences when shopping. As such this entry will be dedicated to my woes as a shopper. I know. I sound totally full of it. You probably don't give a damn about what I buy, but I did warn this would be a frivolous entry!
The Rip-Offs
I present exhibit A:
Ok Gwen, I know what you're going to say in true Maggie Smith-from-Gosford-Park fashion:
*Brit accent* Difficult colour, Orange. Whatever are you going to match it with dar-ling?
But fashion is blind Maggie Smith! Or rather, my sense of fashion is blind! And anyway, colour charts aside, wouldn't you say that Orange is such a kicky colour? In fact I bought this for the colour. It is a much needed reprieve from the tame seas of Black, White, Khaki-Bronze and (occassionally when the designers are feeling, you know, edgy), some dull Pink in other shoe stores - Pedal Works and U.R.S, you are both GUILTY of this aberration! I hold you responsible for the holocaust of nice, colourful shoes!
In any case, I don't know what is it with me, I've always had a soft spot for shoes in bright, lurid colours. First it was red shoes...then came the pink slippers phase. Now orange kitten heels. Next will come Green stilettos or something. In fact they did use to have this particular model in Lime Green. Lime Green! I covet it even before I've seen it.
But anyway. My orange heels from Hue.
So there are three glass shelves lined with shoes right? Orange heels on the second shelf along with a big sign stuck to the edge of the shelf announcing '30-50% off'. And so I'm a cheapskate right? And I happen to like orange (hence a convergence of interests). So I make a bee-line toward it. No size 7. Size 6 is a leee-tle tight but can do. There are of course many alternatives when the shoe you adore doesn't come in your ideal size, namely a) look for another equally kicky model with a size 7 b) go to VNC/Ninewest/Aldo/that other shoe shop on the same floor c) go home and sulk or, my personal favourite d) Suffering.
So I choose d) also because there's a 30-50% discount and its in Orange! And I can live with a size 6 if there's a discount, can't I? Of course I can. So I happily tell the nice sales person I'd buy it (thank god the sales people were nice - one saving grace. Apart from the Orange of course) and I swipe my card and I get a nice little bag and I waltz out of the store and I check the bill.
And it's a rip off (by my cheap standards)!!! There was no discount! Not even a measley 5% one! $70 for what is essentially a fancy slipper, that is also last season and orange (difficult colour...) and a size 6 and not even leather or alligator skin or whatever! Ok Fine. The bow is leather but that's like 1/10 of its entire square area. Now what justifies this Hue? I would like to know. Particularly after your glaring sign which promised a discount.
So I go back to get to the bottom of this agonizing mystery. And the reason?
Salesgirl: Oh...the 30-50% sign doesn't apply to the shoes on the second shelf. It applies to the shelf below it.
I am still speechless.
Clearly if you put a huge sign on the second shelf it means that the sign applies to the third shelf! Of course! Silly me. Sigh.
So ironically I have to swallow both option d) and c) - going home to sulk.
Yet another rip-off in my long history of being ripped off. But sometimes during the Great Singapore Sale I don't only get ripped off. I frequently experience -
The Absurd
In question:
No the shoe isn't absurd. Or rather I don't think it is though my brother begs to differ. It was the process of purchasing it that was truly stupid.
I thought this was a nice shoe because of the unusual lilac colour (again I buy for colour). It was a comfortable height and it was lilac. I really loved it. And even by my cheapskate terms it was...cheap. $35 ++ after discount. What's not to love? Gwen was also on the verge of buying a pair of green wedges - even better! Peer pressure! By all accounts, the combination of factors was conducive and would've induced me to buy this pair. And what happens?
No buy.
Gwen doesn't even buy her much coveted green wedges.
We went home and thought we'd done a good thing by, you know, saving precious money for our expensive university educations and keeping C down so that G and I and X-M would compensate for GDP growth (sorry non-Econs students). But it was that same night when we learnt an important lesson in the art of shopping. Namely. Guilt lasts maybe. 45 minutes.
But Regret lasts a Lifetime.
I was telling Stephanie about the no-buy the next day over MSN and she thought I'd gone temporarily mad.
So wracked with Regret, Gwen and I made a second voyage to Raffles City to buy the damn shoes and experienced belated happiness. We thought the whole thing was pretty silly. But there you go. Now I've got Lilac shoes to add to my colourful arsenal.
The Agony
This technically falls under option c) again.
Well you'll notice there's no picture for this because I couldn't bring myself to buy it. Not without a discount!!
'It' refers collectively to i) The drop waist dress from Mango and ii) the cream/navy blue tube dress from Warehouse. Both perfection. Both exorbitant. The spirit of the Great Singapore Sale (that is to make life easier and more cost effective for consumers like me) clearly doesn't exist in either outlets.
I think The Agony could have been averted if I had walked out of the shop with my head held high and never have had to see either dresses again. But no. Fate is cruel and mocks me. 2 days later at MOS I see someone else wearing the same Mango Dress on the dancefloor! Ok a part of me is thinking Well I'm glad I'm not wearing the same thing she's wearing but an even larger part of me is going Why Cursed Fate??? Why does it parade and remind me of what I can't have?? Similarly, 3 days after Warehouse, I go meet Gwen and we pass by yet another Warehouse outlet. This time, the manequin at the store window dons The Dress I am Fated Never to Have! Sigh.
The HeartBreak.
When gift-giving for my boyfriend. Apt or ironic? The initial damage is always painful but I'm hoping this one-off splurge on a day spa will fade away. I'm calculating that Mediterranean aromatherapy and a jacuzzi (amongst other things) are going to set me back about $500. And even then, that's a sum no where near the crazy 16% tax Spa Botanica charges on top of its already lofty prices. I think that would also go under The Agony. I mean sure, 16% tax but check this: a Javanese Lulur package! I don't know what on earth that means but I sure would love a 'lavish flower petal bath' in the middle of a pavillion . Sigh.
I need a money tree.
All I can say is that. It better be one helluva Swedish Massage.
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