Exhale

I had to travel 7 hours by plane, over sea and land, endure perilous roads with no toilet breaks, drive round the Pacific Ocean, brave 6am morning calls, climb up the fifth level of the most sacred mountain in Japan in order to see It.

And what, pray, was It?

The Biggest Rip Off In The History of the Universe. (Mount Fuji, 5th level, souvenier shop)

At first glance it looks like canned sardines or tuna. But its really not. Don't be deceived by the can's kawaii design of dancing children and blue skies. Its really (brace yourselves) -

Canned Fresh Air.

At 300 yen.

So essentially you pay S$5 for an empty can containing 'sacred air' from Mt Fuji which probly just escapes the minute you open the thing.

Now that is pure genius. I never would have thought of it. Would you? Its almost hilarious.

Haha anyway Japan was great! They've got the most crazy, unthinkable products there which are literally one of a kind. Canned fresh air being one of them. We had a tour guide who's 38 but looks 28 because he had human placenta injected into his body (a service only found in Japan, and which costs a cool US$2000), met another 68 year old tour guide with nary a wrinkle on her face (I'm serious! She looks like Nicole Kidman after a botox party) because she takes placenta pills every day which can only be strictly obtained through Japanese doctors and beauticians. There I also saw the most high-tech toilets ever in departmental stores, complete with bidets, water spray functions, water pressure/temperature moderators, odour removal options, heated seats, hand-sensor automated flush systems and even buttons to play music while in the cubicle. Tokyo girls who wear bizzare sunglasses while shopping because by these sunglasses allow them to visualize how the clothes on the stores' window displays will look on them, thus saving them the trouble of going into the dressing room to try stuff on. Handphones which you can wear as rings round your fingers and you just wriggle your fingers to call people. Pod-like cell phones which you hold in the palm of your hand while talking to friends who appear as holographic images above the pod. (due to be released to the Japanese masses in a couple of years time)

I don't know how they come up with these sort of things. Its like they're living in galaxies far removed from the real world. And apparently, the imported Japanese products like cameras, cars and handphones etc which we get in our local stores are all at least 5 years old in Japan. They're the discarded, outdated models which the Japanese don't want anymore, so they export it to the rest of the world. On one hand I'm quite annoyed to know that they're keeping all the good stuff to themselves but on the other I'm quite amazed at how fast technology is moving there.

And the Fashion. Omg. I love people-watching at Shinsaibashi. Everyday's winter in Japan - 95% of the people out on the streets are fully decked out in coats, hats, scarves, gloves, blazers, stockings and every article of clothing is so well-cut, well coordinated and put together. They look like they've all stepped out of Vogue. The remaining 5% are tourists dressed in windbreakers, baggy jeans and white sports shoes. Seriously. We looked like vagrants next to them. And the Japanese women! Everything from their hair colour to their flawless skin to their eyelashes (I think eyeliner, mascara and fake eyelashes must fly off the shelves in Japan) to their ubiquitious stiletto heels are immaculate. How do they do it?? Are those hair extensions or do they really spend hours getting the perfect hairstyle? Why does no one have hair that ends above the chin and in its natural colour (including the men)? How do they manage to slip into size 00 clothes with all the carbo they eat? Don't they get tired traipsing up and down Shinsaibashi in those crazy heels? They don't even cheat and wear kitten heels! Answers continue to elude me. @_@ I'm still waiting for the clouds to part and be enlightened.

And yet it's a country of so many paradoxes. For such a modern society, everything's still fairly regimented. I still remember an ancedote from a family friend who lived in Japan years ago: In the morning there's always a television programme that broadcasts the latest trends in fashion and beauty. And that same day on the streets, all the Japanese girls will be decked out in the exact same fads promulgated by the show. Its rather interesting. Even today in the cities, you still see remnants of that rather conformist attitude. In Shinsaibashi, there's a long pavement full of shops on either side and what struck me was how the people themselves, without the help of signs or any form of crowd control, automatically delineated the right side of the pavement as the path to enter the shopping street and the left side as the exit route out of Shinsaibashi. I was quite shocked because of how they actually adhere so strongly to these invisible and unwritten rules and how orderly that street was. And mind, it was Friday night and it was also payday. It was totally packed but still so easy to navigate because of the two distinct 'streams' of people. But it was also quite funny because whenever people (not yet indoctrinated with these expected codes of behaviour) sort of suddenly paused in the middle of the path or abruptly crossed over to the other side of the pavement, everyone around became quite agitated or flummoxed. They either paused unertainly to make way or just rudely pushed past as the crowd surged forward like one gigantic unstoppable entity.

Even in the convenience stores at morning rush hour, I saw quite a ridiculous but greatly amusing sight: a group of Japanese male professionals all dressed in the same black corporate suit huddling around the magazine stand. And because there wasn't enough room to stand, some took their magazines and then very consideratedly formed another neat row behind those in the front! And altogether there were three orderly rows of Japanese men emanating from the store's magazine rack in the exact same posture: shoulders ramrod straight, head bent, briefcase at side, pouring over Japanese manga comics. They looked like a choir of black crows or something. Do you know what a rare sight that is? I have never known 20-something year old men and 'orderly' to go together but I have obviously been proven wrong. Then I tried to discreetly take a picture of that strange sight but I forgot to turn off the flash so they all looked up at the same time! Freaky. Then of course they looked back down at their comics at precisely the same moment. Utter clockwork. I'm impressed but also unnerved.

Its a country with an interesting mix of new and old, modernity and antiquity, the rapidity of city life and the langurous pace of the country. Teenage girls with tanned faces and silver eyeshadow cross paths with kimono clad matriachs with pale skin and lightly lined eyes. Smoky pachinkos (video arcades) sit next to inns with traditional hot springs. The contradictions continue. I think it is beautiful place to visit but for some reason I wouldn't want to live there. Especially not in the city. Everyone seems to be literally rushing from one place to another, trying to play some unending game of catch up.

There is a forest near Mt Fuji named the Sea of Trees (if I remember correctly) because of how dense it is. Mobile phones are useless in there. People never usually find their way out of the forest. And there are supposedly wild animals who dwell in there. According to our tour guide, people who can't cope with the strain of life go there, lose themselves in the woods to commit suicide and let the bears eat them. I think he was probably exaggerating, but during a search of the forest one year, they unearthed 300 bodies. Its appalling and yet a tragic reminder of how a society's relentless drive forward inevitably lets people fall through the cracks.

Goodbye Japan! I'll miss you and all the amusing, whimsical and often bizzare memories you left me with. Until next time, Sayonara!

posted by Jeanne @ 3:12 PM