Exhale

Confessions of a stand- in Relief Teacher (Part II)

Me: *msging the most powerful jedi for help* Sir, how do you deal with sec 3 students who refuse to learn?
Most powerful jedi: If you're a girl, just cry. Tell them that you've never given up on anyone, but the sad thing is - maybe they've given up on themselves. Think it'll work?
Me: Haha I don't have anymore energy to cry. Anyway, they aren't even disruptive. They just sit there and...Vegetate.
Most powerful jedi: Then cook them vegetables! Even chopping onions will make you cry! :D

I haven't had the heart to cook them.

But I did invest $1.85 in a packet of assorted toffees for my sec 2s. Worked like a charm. Maybe too well. Like bees to honey. I guess 14 year olds aren't too old for candy.

Me: *standing outside class with toffees*
Random sec 2s: *toddle over, spying sweets* Oooh! Teacher! You have sweets! Are they for us?
Me: Only if you do your assignment properly.
Students: Give us some now la!
Me: No.
Students: Yes. (random student) I'm the principal's son! You have to give me sweets!

*in the classroom*

Me: Do your work!
Random student: *sighs dramatically* Teacher...I just can't concentrate.
Me: Why not?
Student: *sighs more* I need sweets to concentrate...
Me: NO.
Students: You could give us the sweets now then we'll do our work!
Me: NO you get it only if you get 70% of the answers right.
Student: I'm the principal's son!

*after class*
(more students trail after me outside the classroom) Students: So can we have sweets now?
Me: Well no I'll mark your work first then you'll get it tomorrow if you did it properly.
Students: *looking utterly shattered* Huh? No sweets? Why? *little orphan annie look*

Omg. Who knew that sweets could have such an effect.

posted by Jeanne @ 7:17 PM