Exhale

Its a sure thing. Whenever we drive up to a relative's house, we're bound to get lost somewhere along the PIE, BKE or some other highway.

And if, by some fluke, we manage to successfully interpret all the squiggly lines in the Street Directory, then it must follow that we'll get lost inside the multistorey carpark of some HDB estate.

Went to Choa Chu Kang to see a baby who is, apparently, my cousin. I think. Brought along an offering of Ghim Moh curry puffs. Spent about half an hour looking at the baby - who was frowning in her sleep - while everyone discussed whether she looked more like her dad or this distant cousin whom I last saw when I was five.

My relatives have no names. They are never addressed by their proper names. My mum comes up with all sorts of funny labels for them. There's the "Auntie with lots of makeup", the "Hokkien Mee stall Auntie", the "Disco Uncle", the "Jurong East Auntie" etc.
And its been 14 years already but I still can't figure out which cousin is Beng Huey and which one is Beng Hee. Chances are, I never will :|

Had dinner there too which was a very painful experience.

Think I ate Chicken Rice. But it didn't look like Chicken rice. It didn't smell like chicken rice and it certainly didn't taste like Chicken rice. But there was a chicken wing in it :|
Dessert was some...black-ish liquid. Kinda resembled tar.

Ian: *quietly eating his vegetables*
Toh Payoh Aunt: *thunders over* WAH YOU LIKE MY VEGETABLES ISIT? COME TAKE SOMEMORE! *picks up ladle and digs into a moutain of salted vegetables
Ian: Ahhh...no its ok...
Toh Payoh Aunt: NEVER MIND AH! PIACK! *throws a glob of vegetables onto his plate*

He was ranting about dinner in the car all the way home.

Ian: I just ate one piece of chicken...one piece...and she goes 'BOY, YOU LIKE ISIT? TAKE SOMEMORE!" and dumps the biggest...fattest....greasiest piece of chicken on my plate! Oh and you know the chicken wing in the chicken rice...it was the most soggy, disgusting piece of chicken I'd ever eaten! It was completely waterlogged! And it was buried under the rice so I didn't see it till later! I bet that was done on purpose! I told you they give you all the food they don't want!

Spent the rest of my time there watching my cousins watch "A Kindred Spirit". Bah. Got so bored I went to stare at the baby again. Still sleeping. Still drooling. [She's so tiny!]

My 2nd uncle was there. Haven't seen him since the Family Brawl in the Seafood restaurant. That was when he and my granddad got into a shouting match over an incident which happened 30 years ago. My uncle went to carry bricks in a construction site when he was a teen to earn money to buy a pair of Levi's jeans. Only after he did, my grandad said the jeans were "ugly" and started laughing. And they've never really talked since :|
Well. Only until they've had a few Tigers.

I have an uncle who looks like Tony Leung and I never knew it :O

We spent 2 hours in the same house with my new cousin and we still don't know anything about her.

Dad: Eh...was it a boy or girl?
Mum: Tsk. Girl...didn't you see all the pink?
Me: What's her name anyway?
Mum: Eh...I think its Savannah.
Dad: *immediately* Good Lord.
Mum: *peers at card* Oh no...its Sovannah.
Dad: *muttering* Condemned to eternal ridicule.

Well. I know my cousin's name now. That's a start.

posted by Jeanne @ 10:02 PM