Exhale

Konichiwa!!!!! Hajimemashite??!

Japanese is fun! Its a very refined "musical" language - if that makes any logical or grammatical sense at all! Its rolls off your tongue very nicely...once you're actually familiar with the words that is. And right now, unfortunately, I'm not =( In fact during the first Jap lesson, my Spanish vocabularly kept infiltrating! I'd go "Si...oh no wait...Hai". Utterly bizzare! Oh well slow and steady then...plus lots of practice (ie: muttering under my breath) till I get it down pat.

So anyway, I was at work the other day and my extremely Christian Boss happened to be chatting with a patient of his...a free thinking lawyer (gasp horrors of horrors!)

B: So. You are a free thinker? (gasp horrors of horrors!)
Lawyer: Haha yes and I refuse to be converted! (gasp horrors of horrors!) But I have a very devout Christian supervisor at work.
B:Oh! Aha you have a good role model then.
Lawyer: Haha really? Well she's very devout and she lectures me when I don't behave in a very Christian way.
B: She's a lawyer too? That's good...Christians are very logical and reasonable. You should emulate her and your other Christian colleagues!
Lawyer: Mm perhaps, but there are some Christian lawyers I know in the workplace who don't really behave in an upright or admirable way.
B: ...Really?
Lawyer: *seriously* Yes really.
B: *sudden brainwave* Ah but they may be Roman Catholic! You should do your homework and check up their backgrounds!
Lawyer: That's quite insulting!

Haha I apologize for the sarcasm but really. It seems faintly ridiculous and almost hilarious now that I think back on the incident even though I could literally feel the bile rising up my throat at that time. Quite insulting? Por supuesto! But of course! Apart from the tiny fact that it was said in front of, oh, illogical me (gasp! horror of horrors!) even if I am just a lowly secretary-cum-receptionist-cum-odd errands persun...I have, well, something rather trivial called feelings. And of course there was the rather narrow-minded assumption that ALL (insert) are upright/moral/oozing of probity and ALL OTHER (non-insert) are amoral, misguided, poor unenlightened pagan fools or infidels. Horror of horrors! They need guidance! (Good (insert) role models with A levels need only apply!)

I really do apologize for the sarcasm. I'm just in a bit of a loopy mood tonight and I had the most awful, tasteless beef ramen at Sakae Sushi. Of course I have met plenty of nice, good and perfectly pleasant people who are (insert all religions/non-religious), just as I have met those who are also (insert all religions/non-religious) but aren't exactly ms Congeniality material. I think its dangerous to view people in purely black and white terms without considering the huge mesh of grey swimming in the middle. And to think I was the one dying slowly of myopia with all my data entry duties.

And no dear Sir. Spending just four miserable years in Catholic High as you once smugly told me, does not make you an authority on the faith itself. I'm so sorry to disappoint. But you know, maybe a bunch of adolescent boys with raging hormones confined with more adolescent boys with raging hormones, regardless of creed, race, religion or school, aren't exactly the best specimens to observe in order to make your judgment about an organization. My condolences.

And of course the final insult is to assume that those who do not subscribe to a religion or to a (specific religion) automatically have no moral code whatsoever to live by. That they are, literally, wading chin-deep in sin, infamy and blind ignorance of what's right and what's wrong. That they are in need of your conscience which is of course perfectly good and clean and pure vanilla with a cherry on the top.

I do like my boss overall. He's generous and is generally ok to work with. But life does have its curious and humorous ironies. In the end I think I respected the free-thinking lawyer, who cheerfully dispensed career advice and wished me luck for my results, more than I did the holy moley. Who, I might add, after his brazen remarks in my face, had the shameless cheek to grin at me and toss me more work to do for his church. Ah but I ought not to descend into bitterness again. The truly magnaminous thing would be to ignore, smile, forgive. *Que sera que sera whatever will be will be* I really do hope I don't become a holy-moley.

But whatever it is. I'm glad I'm quitting by the end of this month. Off to more secular and professional pastures I hope!

posted by Jeanne @ 10:46 PM

I was walking down Orchard Road a few days ago after work when I was accosted by Steven Lim who was promoting his eyebrow grooming services. ($10) I have to say that standing alone in the middle of Orchard promoting your own business takes some guts - although I suppose that pales in comparison to prancing around Singapore Idol in yellow briefs on national television.

Anyway I was suddenly waylaid by him and was instantly hit by a literally tsunami of non-stop, endless chatter - "Hii'mstevenlimyouremembermefromsingaporeidol?here'sanewspapercuttingaboutmyservices.Myeyebrowshaping$10only!Veryveryveryverycheaphor?verygoodpricehor?andionlychargeyouafteridoyourbrowswhy?causeiwanttobeyourfriendsoyoualsobemyfriendhorokokokok?". He didn't even come up for air! Wow. He speaks exactly like those hyperactive Japanese anime characters; I couldn't get in an 'urh' or an 'ahh' or 'I have no money' in at all! It was just mildy terrifying. But anyway after extricating myself from his overenthusiastic clutches, he made me promise to tell others about his personal website/blog so if you have time go visit http://www.stevenlim.net and read about his latest exploits.

And now its time fo my public warning service.

If you chance upon Bodyshop outlets you'll find that Body Scrubs are all off at 55%. And they've probably lined up those little cute tubs of strawberry, mango, coconut, shea, brazil nut, passionfruit scrubs right at the entrance of the stall with a great pink sign that goes "55% OFF!" or something like that. And there're adorable little tester tubs which you can twist open to inhale the nice fruity/nice nutty scent of the scrubs with their caramel and very altruistic sounding "Community traded sugar from Paraguay".

DON'T FALL FOR IT.

(Unless of course you've already bought one and it works for you.)

The so called exfoliating crystals *dissolve* under 10 seconds to leave behind some disgusting greasy solution which sticks to your skin like clingwrap. I think the grease is supposed to be "moisturizing" element of the product but frankly I think there's some weird logic behind that train of thought: being able to milk an entire KFC franchise for a week does not equal nice, hydrated skin! If I *wanted* to render my services to KFC I would've, you know, bought body butter or something because in my very personal opinion, I think that thing is just a glorified name for 'Grease in a Tub with some community traded whatever'. But then at least I'd *know* what I was getting myself into. But you simply can't mix what seems to be discarded batches of body butter with Brazilian sugar/salt crystals and then conveniently call it a scrub.

I want my $10.90 back!

posted by Jeanne @ 12:11 PM

Well I'm currently trying to learn Spanish out of a Teach Yourself book because I can't bear to pay $300 to carry on with the Intermediate course. But I have to admit I'm not making any more progress. More like getting more confused. There are so many damn tenses! I think I took very much for granted those lessons in the nitty-gritty technical bits of the English language in primary and secondary school..and now I'm paying for it. All of a sudden things like pluperfect tense, imperfect tense, future tense, present conditional tense, past participles, gerunds, imperatives, prepositions and all that jazz are getting important. In that I actually have to know what on earth they are and when to use them exactly. Unfortunately I can't do what I did for English in all 18 years of my life which was basically 'if it sounds right, it ought to be right'. Big sigh. Who hammered out all the rules of language? Must've been one hell of a job. I'm going to start a phrase book too to expand my vocab.

Actually now come to it, I'm genuinely surprised that my English is still passable given that all I read when I was young were Enid Blyton, Sweet Valley (Kids! And then Friends) and Nancy Drew. And I'm not exactly very literary even now. I still have not finished Lolita and The Belljar which I bought last year in an attempt to read beyond my literature books. Lolita is surprisingly, and almost frustratingly, very PG. The narrator in Belljar is just annoying and nothing seemed to be happening. In any case both got dead boring after a while so I reverted back to old but highly amusing copies of Adrian Mole (which I have lost!! Have I lent them to anyone? Please return it.) and very engaging Hercule Poirot mysteries. Don't they say you have to read widely to improve your grasp of the language? I have to admit I hardly think Adrian Mole is very serious reading though it is far more entertaining and has more re-readable value than, say, The Great Gatsby even though the latter is a pretty fascinating novel. But its the kind I'd rather read as part of a school curriculum than on my own time.

So maybe I should start an English phrase book too.

I really should be improving my Chinese though but thats just procrastination on my part. I think I'm treating like a problem that will solve itself.

Japanese this friday! Excited! :D

posted by Jeanne @ 11:21 PM

Butters! One of my favourite Southpark characters apart from Cartman. I think it must be the Southern accent and his applesauce song that appeals to me =) Does anyone know how to bring in Southpark boxsets without running afoul of the law/censors? I need my Southpark fix!

Anyway, I've finished my Spanish course and am technically proficient in Basic Spanish ...though I don't really feel it. : I think I need to start practicing on kind, hapless souls. Language can be frustrating!

But anyhoo, its Japanese next!

posted by Jeanne @ 11:14 PM

As with the business world and Reincarnation, my moods go through cyclical fluctuations. So with the euphoric highs reaching a new peak in the last entry, I have hit the inevitable trough and am sobering up. I still do lust after the M.A.C Disney lip tints though, don't get me wrong.

After a terrifically monotonous day at work, I made a beeline for the nearest CD shop this week and bought myself some perky music with the intention of livening up my otherwise drab office hours. I bought the Dashing Diva compilation of 30 Disco hits, Girls Night Out. Nice! Haha I played it full blast on Saturday morning - fun! While I prefer the more contemporary covers of I'm Every Woman, Take Me Home and the like, the original Disco hits are still funky. I like dancey, upbeat music. Though some people think I have poor music taste because I've got Britney on my mp3 player :p To each his own I guess. I personally have no patience for slow songs and that James Blunt song where he keeps yelping about some Beautiful woman. Yea sure its nice, romantic and what not...but it gets boring after a while. And in any case I don't usually listen to music to relax because silence does that for me. Music is more like my caffeine; It has to be kicky, fast paced and packed with a Zing :D

I wish I'd been born in the '70s or something. Music seemed more...vibrant. Hah. I love Le Freak by Chic!

That said, some notable mentions.

I have nothing against Deborah Harry of Blondie. In fact I think she was really pretty when she was young. She's still pretty in fact. But I have to say I hated the original version of Rapture on my CD. I have listened to it and I have tried to like it as much as I have tried to find some redeeming quality in Janis Joplin's rendition of Summertime (why my father adores her!) but No. Deborah Harry sounded totally spaced out and occasionally out of synch with the music. Janis Joplin just sounded. Well. Like a cross between catfight and werewolf. I understand that her very distinctive rasping voice was what endeared her to fans but its not exactly doing wonders for my ears. And they both sounded High on drugs or alcohol...which maybe they were. I mean seriously, the Paris Hilton version of Rapture which I downloaded months ago by accident sounded better, and that's kind of saying a lot. At least I could kind of make out her diction (which again says a lot) and she sang more in time with the music.

Blondie, blondie, blondie! I suppose there's a time and place for everything including being high and wasted, but that time and place is probably 5.59am, over your toilet bowl, not on Track 2 of Dashing Diva's Girls' Night Out CD Two!

Oh yea and interestingly enough, the song Forget Me Nots by Patrice Rushen sounds suspiciously like the Men In Black (I) theme song! In fact the tune is almost identical! Seriously. @_@

However, am still on the lookout for this particular Disco song...I have no idea who the artiste or what the name of the song is which I suppose will make things a tad tricky. Hm. I heard it while standing right next to DXO on Wednesday night when they were playing all those retro songs. That guy has a crazy falsetto but OMG its like pure heavenly disco. I must find it!

posted by Jeanne @ 11:01 PM

Public Warning Service: A Completely Self-Absorbed and Indulgent Entry

In her latest blog entry, Sarah talks about the good ol’ days of Disney animated cartoons, while Gwen attempts to recall the lyrics to various Disney soundtracks. In lieu of the sudden nostalgia for all things Disney, I must admit I do miss my Snow White and Beauty and the Beast tapes (tapes! Yes that’s how old I’ve become)…which incidentally, were mistaken for pornographic films by the Singapore customs as my hapless parents tried to bring them in from Malaysia. I don’t know – were the titles in anyway, remotely suggestive? Perhaps Sleeping Beauty and Aladdin (Arabian Nights) conjured up tantalizing images of harems and Oriental exotica but I really can’t see how Bambi would have such an effect. Or any effect for that matter.

Nevertheless, my love affair with Disney has continued right up to my later years (damn I do feel old) …though in a slightly altered form, reflecting of course, my altered tastes ever since I was a twee Kindergartener.

Te presento a

…the latest M.A.C. tinted lip conditioners with Disney characters on the lid! What’s not to love???

Some reasons for my current obsession – magic words highlighted in bold.

1. Its M.A.C
2. Its limited edition
3. Its got spf 15
4. Its in collaboration with Disney
5. I have a soft spot for cute packaging.
6. Its M.A.C
7. Its limited edition
8. Its M.A.C
9. Its limited edition
10. ITS M.A.C AND ITS LIMITED EDITION

Ok, so it costs much more than your average cheapo drug store lippie, but who cares? I feel the pragmatic Asian in me dying a gruesome death and the indestructible consumerist rising like a triumphant phoenix from the ashes. (with credit card in tow)

And anyway, how can you say no to these?

Those oversized, pink, puffy cheeks have a startlingly similar effect to the stupid cakes and drinks in that animated Alice in Wonderland film; you know, the things that had little labels addressing Alice to ‘Eat me’ or ‘Drink me’. Only Coquettish Clarice and Miss Bunny are tempting me with their teasing gazes which say, no, scream ‘You know you want me – I’m MAC!’.

And I swear Daisy Duck is positively smirking smugly in the knowledge that, whilst I despise her white, exposed bottom, I am absolutely digging the Daisy Daze lippie. Lookithat.

That is most definitely a smirk of self satisfaction which belies a gorgeous creamy pink formula within the pot!

Well to you, poor reader, I did warn that this would be The self indulgent/absorbed entry, which I shall valiantly strive never to repeat again unless I am deliriously high on…chocolate or something. But while I’m at it, I shall push my luck and your patience by shamelessly imploring any kind soul out there who would like to give me an advanced Birthday/Christmas/Hanukkah/Thanksgiving gift to GO RIGHT AHEAD! I assure you I won’t do the whole Chinese thing of dramatically refusing your generosity at least 5 times. [P.S. I adore the Coquettish Clarice shade but Daisy Daze comes a close second]

So ends my rambling. I thought it wasn't unbearably long. And finally, in my defense, such seemingly frivolous outbursts - along with shopping, gossiping, bitching and other commonly disdained ‘feminine’ activities – offer continuous, healthy cathartic release. So there.

Sidenote: On a completely random and bizzare note, don't Coquettish Clarice and Miss Bunny sound awful lot like pornstar names? I'm just guessing!

posted by Jeanne @ 1:30 AM