Exhale

YOU WANT FREE ICE CREAM??
(even though it rubs against your conscience)

Quote of the day:

*at Island Cremery*

Jeanne: 2 Pulut Hitam and 1 Soursop icecream...and ...a baked Alaska please!

Staff: Ok...will that be all? $11.50 please.

Jeanne: *hands over card*

Staff: Oh I'm sorry, we only accept cash!

Jeanne: Oh...I don't have cash on hand.

Staff: *shrugs* Oh that's alright. You can pay tomorrow.

Jeanne: *thinks I've heard wrongly* ...What?

Staff: You can pay tomorrow.

Jeanne: *flabbergasted* Pay tomorrow?? Erh...and how would that work out?

Staff: *completely nonchalant* You can come back tomorrow and pay.



I don't know about you but my jaw completely dropped when I heard this whole 'buy-now-pay-tomorrow' business. And that's saying something. My dad often bemoans my sad lack of sense when it comes to matters of money and business ('you have no killer instinct Jeanne!') and I am frequently pulverized at Monopoly by my brother's shark-ish tendencies...but at least I know that one basic rule of profit making is that you get some guarantee of payment!

This can mean 2 things: Island Cremery either places too much good faith in the integrity of their customers or....they place too much good faith in the integrity of their customers.

Junwen suggests that it might be a way to secure customer loyalty. I'm not sure. I don't feel particularly grateful toward Island Cremery's innovative payment scheme, but I do feel amazed enough to blog about it.

But anyway icecream was good! The staff were friendly! So I'm not complaining. :) And if you do decide to pay tomorrow and not show up you are CHEAP. *Evil laugh*

posted by Jeanne @ 1:32 AM

Random Thought Bubble

For me, the worst part about being around people who bring you down is that after a while you actually start to believe the things they say about you. True or not, the limitations they ascribe ultimately become yours. Invisible boundaries which you accept and make your own.

And you start to think that maybe these walls were inherent; that they were always there but you just never noticed till now.

Now that they've been pointed out to you repeatedly, they suddenly become some sort of insurmountable barrier you're forced to acknowledge. Perhaps reluctantly at first, even with some resistance. But eventually you'll get used to people alerting you to it. You won't even need confirmation of its existence anymore. In fact you'll start voluntarily pointing it out to people fossilizing it further because now the imaginary wall has the endorsement of its owner.

And you won't fight that good ol' wall anymore - you'll smile, throw your hands up behind your head and lean back against it. You'll accept it as a fact of life. Some unchangeable aspect about you. No longer a liability, it becomes a crutch. An expedient excuse you can always fall back on without fail; for your complacency, your failures, your cowardice.

And maybe you'll never dare breach that wall.

It's so much easier not to anyway because such boundaries conveniently circumscribe what you can and cannot do. They define and neatly encase your person. They keep you out of potentially difficult, unfamiliar situations whilst letting you remain in your own little comfortable space. And you'll never know how easily those walls could succumb and crumble if you should so choose to chip away at them slowly and bravely. Of course you never did.


At a young age someone defined how far I could go and what I could not do. At a young age someone discouraged me from going any further reassuring me that I was perfectly fine remaining where I was because all people have their 'strengths' and 'weaknesses'. Some are 'naturally' (that word is extremely dangerous because it justifies things as needing no further justification) more talented in certain things than other. After much affirmation from that someone, I believed what s/he said. From then on I didn't even try. I gave up on those projects which I had no possible chance of doing well in abetted by that same person.

(Till today I still dismiss them almost instinctively)

I came up with totalizing, permanent labels for myself like 'mediocre' or 'poor' in those areas I was not too good at. Whether a temporal setback or not, every less-than-perfect incident/result simply served to seal my already incipient reputation as a 'natural' born-failure in ____. (yes that word is dangerous)

At some points these things - these little black spots - disappeared completely. Perhaps they were deemed irrelevant to my life or I simply stopped thinking about them as much as before. Or most likely I just got used to dismissing them that they simply became an unthinkable option. I could just focus on whatever it was I was considered 'good' at from now on.

Then one day I decided to try my hand at one of those areas I thought I had absolutely no inclination toward.

And to my horror I realized I was good.

And I realized I could have been even better if I'd followed through with it ages ago. Days, months, years ago. I thought of all the different permutations my life could have
conformed to had I actually carried on with it.

But then I realized it was my own fault as well. To blame him/her alone would be yet another way to avoid admitting my complicity. It would be a means to absolve and distance myself from my own disappointing track record. Another wall to lean upon.

Because truly I had a vested interest in believing every one of those things s/he had said about me. Shortcomings in a person are never completely negative but are loopholes to be exploited to great effect.

Regardless, it was a sobering moment when I realized that perhaps I was different from the person I had always confidently described to my friends/people around me. Perhaps I had never really known Jeanne all too well. Perhaps my entire life will be one of constant and unceasing 'self-discovery.' Of knocking down more myths and half-truths about myself and 'charting new limits.' I'm sorry about using such corporate sounding cliches. But then again, cliches are cliches only when they are hollow and uttered without much sincerity. When they actually start to make sense - years after you first rolled your eyes at them - there can perhaps be no better expression which springs to mind first. And 'self-discovery' is one platitude I never really got till years later.

But returning to the subject at hand, there is something I'll never quite know which is the most troubling of all. All I am sure of is my perpetual ignorance; that at the back of my mind I will always wonder irresistably about the person I might have been if I had tried a little harder once upon a time. If I had been a little more brave. If I had not listened so much. If I had suspended my (unquestioning) belief.

posted by Jeanne @ 1:38 AM

I have a fringe!

I haven't had one since primary school. I had forgotten the sensation of having hair against my forehead.

From some angles I think I look quite odd. Sigh. I need to grow into my new hair.

posted by Jeanne @ 12:55 AM

Sick, Hungover, Grouching

Ladies and Gentlemen I officially have a stalker. Whoopdeedoo.

And in the clear of day, I always regretfully experience the costs of late night drinking. Physically and monetarily.

I haven't reset my bodyclock.

I keep harbouring evil thoughts.

In my very uncharitable mental state, I have started thinking about the types of people who perennially annoy/irritate me. In no particular order, these include:

1. Singaporean women who somehow think its the greatest insult in the world to be mistaken for a Filippina.

2. Self-important, angsty poets with delusions of emo-grandeur.

3. Brats.

4. Misogynists and blustering chauvinists.

5. Unrepentant and self-rationalizing Paedophiles.

6. Ignorant religious bigots and relentless proselytizers who seem to have a cross permanently stuck up their -

7. Girls who make their boyfriends carry their handbags/shopping bags while they spend 2 hours in the dressing room.

8. Pigeons.

9. The boring bureaucrats quoted in the Straits Times.

10. People who don't say 'thank you' when you hold open doors for them.

11. People who over simplify.

Dam I really need to start thinking positive thoughts. Shall go off to find my zen spot.

In other (happier) news I think this visual DNA thing is so cool! Got the link off Shafiqah's blog.

posted by Jeanne @ 12:15 AM

Travelogue



A rare photo in which my dear brother deigns to show his face.


I left for Rome a pilgrim aspiring to higher, and returned like any other debased commercial tourist. And I have a whole lot of trinkets, Baci chocolates, duty-free shopping and 1GB cards full of images (some useless like the one above; others of places with names I've forgotten) to prove it!

Perhaps also returning with a tad more spirituality. Yes yes, just a hint ;)

But seriously, Italy was beautiful. Even though it was my second time there, it was still awesome and humbling gazing at the remains of thousands of years of civilization. Although I still find it really bizzare seeing, say, an ancient Roman arch next to a 13th century Gothic Cathedral overlooking Kate Moss' mug outside Yves Saint Laurent. Bizzare in a good way though. Haha.

And the art! The buildings! Swoon-some. Lookit that!



Nightview of the Church in Loreto which is GORGEOUS on the outside and especially on the inside.




The ceiling in the Gallery of Maps inside the Vatican museum. Some may find it a bit overwrought but its still my favourite gallery.


One of the many chapels inside St John of Lateran church in Rome. This is my favourite! Check out the ceiling...




Stained glass depicting a dove inside St Peter's Basilica. The dove itself isn't made of glass though, but small pieces of alabastar.

Visited the Sistine Chapel when inside the Vatican. I really wanted to take some photos in there but photography wasn't allowed. Nor was talking. And it was in there that I found the second most amazingly brainless job in the world. The first being the wardens hired in Tokyo subways to literally push, cram and squeeze more people into already jam-packed trains.

Shush-ers!

(Ok I guess they double up as security guards but still.)

This is what they do. In the Sistine chapel, 3 uniformed shushers/guards are hired to stand in a line before Michelangelo's fresco of the Last Judgment. They stare imposingly over the huge swarm of tourists in front of them and every 2 minutes, they clap their hands three times and emit a loud 'SHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH' to get people to be quiet.


In one of our first churhces:

Shush-er *booms resoundingly into microphone* SILENZIO.
Ian *gapes* JEANNE! It's the voice of God!!
Shush-erSHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH....*barks* NO PHOTO.

That's another popular utterance. Someone attempted to take a picture of the Creation of Adam with his handphone camera. Within seconds - and I mean seconds - a shusher had miraculously materialized by his side. After the customary 3-claps, he intoned 'NO PHOTO' and let out another indignant 'SHHHHHHH' for good effect.


Fierce shush-ers notwithstanding, the Vatican museum was great. It is quite a treasure trove for art, history and culture. And it’s really gorgeous too!


Incidently, the same applies to the men ;) They dress and look better than the ladies! Even within the Vatican itself, you find some lookers in the form of the Swiss Guard. Haha. Which is saying something considering their ridiculous uniform...



Ian: *as we pass one of the Swiss Guard* What was Michelangelo thinking when he designed their outfits?
Me: Well I guess it was the style of the time! And anyway, they look quite good so that makes up a bit for the horrible clothes.
Ian: *stares* Jeanne you have terrible taste. How is that attractive!? *points at multicoloured bloomers*
Me: I'm not talking about the clothes. You know, there is a very stringent criteria to be a Swiss Guard...at the very least I'm sure they all have good physiques!
Ian: ....What stringent criteria? Oh, you mean the ability to withstand public humiliation? Yes that's a very important skill in their line of work Jeanne.
Me: Tsk nevermind!


While on the subject of men in uniform, my dad insisted I take a picture of these 3 policemen near the Spanish steps.




Mum: Oh! Such good looking policemen!
Dad: *nudge nudge* Make sure you get those three in the frame!
Me: Why?
Dad: *whispers* Are you blind??? The one on the left looks like Tom Cruise when he was still sane! A taller version though.
Me: No he does not!
Dad: *ignores me* Ok...wait till they turn their heads so you can get a side profile..ok ok ...now! ...NOW!
Mum: Hey I think they know you're taking a picture of them. Look, they're smiling at us!
Dad: *nudging her* Go take a photo with them!

My dad can be so embarrassing sometimes.

But returning to those policemen, apart from man in uniform 1’s ‘chiseled features’ and man in uniform 2’s ‘dark, brooding looks’ (my dad’s words not mine) I have to say they were rather useless. They stood along the streets chatting while just above the stairs, a whole lot of Moroccans were selling fake Gucci bags while Bangladeshi and Vietnamese immigrants trawled the streets aggressively touting scarves and random trinkets to anyone who just merely glanced their way. And the gypsies! They are mostly gangs of young girls – as young as 9 or 10 – who roam the streets and pick your pockets/ snatch your bags. They seem to be quite reviled by locals which I do think is quite sad. Daniella our local guide in Rome is formidable; she’s a veritable gypsy tracker. Walking with her through the streets of Rome is like navigating through a mine field with an overeager detector.

Daniella: *thick Italian accent* You must bewarrrre the gypsy! You neverrrr look at them! You neverrrrr smile at them! You neverrrr talk to them! Or they take your money! Oh they are verrrry evil the gypsy! You follow me careful now!

*continuing*… Sometimes, they thrrrow baby at you then steal your money when you not looking! So you neverrrrr take anything from them! *sees a gypsy up ahead with a baby* OH THERE IS GYPSY AHEAD! GYPSY AHEAD! BE CAREFUL NOW! SHE IS VERRRRY CRRRAFTY THIS ONE! *shoos the gypsy away while speaking angrily in Italian*

Check your belonging! Make sure she don’t take anything from you! AND WATCH OUT FOR THAT GROUP OF GIRRRL AHEAD! MORE GYPSY MORE GYPSY! *violent verbal altercation with group of Gypsies*

And despite her best efforts, the gypsies struck that day! About 7 young girls descended upon a group of Chinese tourists right next to us and snatched one of their bags clean. It was over in a matter of seconds.

Ian: *watches the girls scurry away out of sight* They’ve been gypsied!

Daniella couldn’t do anything; she was a little behind shouting at a pair of gypsy mothers who had started advancing toward the back of our group. She was outraged.


Ok you must think me a complete pagan by now what with all the gossip above. But yes, I can be spiritual when I want to...though not usually on my blog. In any case, I shall add in a bit about the more religious-oriented places we went to. This trip was after all, a Franciscan pilgrimage so we visited quite a few shrines and sites frequented by Saint Francis of Assisi himself! (my Church is part of the Franciscan order) In particular, I loved La Verna and I can see why Francis did too. This is me taking a picture from one of the caves where he liked to retreat into hermitage and pray! Lovely isn't it?



Anyway, La Verna's situated on a mountain and is quite remote...very cold, very green and very very quiet. Perfect place for meditation. It is also where St Francis received the stigmata and you won't believe the amount of fresco paintings which depict that scene!

We also had a look at St Francis' "bed". Quotation marks because its not really a bed per se. Its a rock in a freezing cave and he slept there when he was in La Verna because he wanted to try and experience the physical suffering of Christ. I think that's quite amazing . To digress a little, sometimes I wish I were more spiritual but as of now I guess I'm not. But...I try anyhow. In my own way. Whatever that may be.


We also visited the medieval town of Gubbio where I saw the incorrupt body of their patron saint, St Ubaldo! Ok I'm trying not to make it sound like a tourist attraction but - WOW. Seriously. His body/flesh hasn't decomposed despite being over 800 years old, which in the Church, is supposedly a sign of spiritual purity. According to tradition, St Ubaldo is said to have asked God to let him always watch over his beloved Gubbio (he was Bishop there). And I guess he kinda got his wish because. Well. His body's intact. And he's placed in his old town church where the people absolutely adore him. Aw. I think its a pretty sweet story.

Before I bore you any further, we also visited Greccio where St Francis started the tradition of the Christmas nativity scene! At the church in Greccio, there's a little exhibit displaying nativity scenes around the world - its absolutely adorable! I'll end here with some of my favourite displays. Enjoy!


A Korean nativity scene!


A Japanese nativity scene! Its so minimalist and zen looking!


A red Indian nativity scene!! So cute! Can you see little Jesus' head?

posted by Jeanne @ 6:38 PM

Gwen: *moaning* I don't even know what I did to it to deserve this...maybe its because I've been neglecting it for a while, but even still why is this happening to me?? Why is this creature tormenting me so...I hate it Jeanne. I hate it.

She was talking about her Fujitsu laptop which keeps hanging. I so feel your pain Gwen.

I watched Pirates 3 yesterday with Ian! I haven't done much with my brother in a long time, so I was quite glad for the ah, quality sibling time together. As is always, we have great fun gawping at the pre-feature trailers. In particular, we both laughed our asses at the Gatsby trailers for their new hair product, 'Moving Rubber':



Although this does not beat the 'Happy if you know it' ad, I think the effete dancing and the guy's accompanying expressions are just hilarious!

On a sidenote, am I the only one who thought'Moving Rubber' was a funky condom initially?

In any case, I thought Pirates 3 was much better than Pirates 2 - which I absolutely hated and nearly died watching. However, this still fell short of the original Pirates in my opinion. POTC - You are not Lord of the Rings! Why are you 3 hours long? There is nothing wrong with a long movie per se, but something is wrong when I fidget in my seat and keep checking my handphone for the time.

Random observations:

1. Keira Knightley has one permanent expression which I would describe as 'constipated-indignant' coupled with over-enunciation. I got very irritated with her persistant testosterone-high / war mongering in the movie. Is this some serious overcompensation for the fact that Elizabeth Swan is the only female character who's human and not a prostitute? She sounds like a crazed feminist.

2. 'Singapore' is inhabited by Vietnamese boat people, Japanese steam baths, stilt houses, Fu Manchu and extras from Tang Dynasty!

3. (erh. Spoiler?) Calypso's a really big girl. I just wish she didn't disintegrate so quickly into....crabs(or whatever the hell that was) and disappeared into the ocean all within like 45 seconds. Talk about anticlimax.

4. Halfway through the movie, I realized I should've watched Shrek 3.

Anyway, will be going to Italy for the next two weeks! Am excited...I want squid ink pasta! Shall have to go pack soon though. Sigh.

Bye world! :D

posted by Jeanne @ 8:25 PM

At Zouk on the Eve of Vesak Day

First of all, a very Happy Birthday Brandon! :)

There was a phenomenal queue outside Zouk yesterday. Apart from the 1-hour wait, I was very upset to learn that I would actually have to pay a cover charge on a Wednesday night.

Brandon: *breaking the news* There's no free entry for ladies on the eve of public holidays!
Me: What?! ... ...Will I get free entry if I'm Buddhist then?

To make matters worse, I didn't draw money from the ATM earlier that day. As a result, I had to dip into my emergency CNY hongbao stash before leaving home, stuffing my wallet with tons of $2 bills. So when it came to paying the cover charge, I just completely unloaded a whole lot of small notes at a very nonplussed member of the Zouk staff. As I said to Brandon, it never hurts to have small change (hehe).

Staff: That'll be $25
Me: *fumbling with wallet* Ok give me a minute...*starts to meticulously count $2 bills*
Staff: *stares*
Me: um I think that should be right *pushes a whole wad of bills over*
Staff: *stares* ... ... You've given me $2 extra.

Anyway Zouk was fun, although I feel they should think about expanding the female toilets. (major bottlenecks!) It is the first law of physics that a woman spends at least 2 mins longer in the loo than a man. With just 2 cubicles in the female toilet, I doubt Zouk has grasped that just yet. For this reason alone, I love MOS and I take my hat off to them - those toilets are in a league of their own! Big, spacious, clean, pretty....*happy sigh*

On another note, Suma and I have agreed that we need to hit Gotham and St James soon. And drag Maria along with us, kicking and screaming haha. But until then, need to catch up on sleep and start saving - I can't afford to survive on my (dwindling) CNY emergency stash any longer!

posted by Jeanne @ 1:22 AM